Change.

The school year is almost over, and I am in a bit of shock. I can't believe that I'm at the end of my freshman year. I mentioned to my roommate on a camping trip this weekend that we were only going to be living together for less than two weeks, and I almost started crying. I almost cried again when I thought about not having the same corefas (small group leaders) next year. That's the problem with me. I just want to hold people close and never let anything change. But change is good...right? I mean, you never get to have new experiences if you hold everything tight to your chest.
Next year I'm rooming with a girl on my floor who's too awesome to describe in a blog post, but I'll just say that she's a lover of Jesus, a resident of Alaska who's moving to Montana this summer, and an eater of meat (she assumes that I always describe her as a meat eater since she always tells people I'm vegan, so I just had to put that in there). But anyway, she's totally awesome and I'm excited to get to know her better through living with her next year.
And apparently God has called me to be a corefa next year, which is still kind of crazy to me. I'm not exactly the most qualified person for the job, but I guess God wants me there so I'm sure it will work out.
I know that God has grown me in myriad ways this year and I shouldn't just stay where I am, but I am going to miss the way things are now a lot.
Sorry for the sentimental post. To make up for it, here's a joke:

A man walks into a bar...
...
...
...
...
...
OW!

That's the best I've got. What, you're saying I shouldn't go into stand-up comedy? But this is America--what about my dreams?
Heh-heh. Enjoy the summer (or the remainder of classes), and DFTBA.

God, The Fault in Our Stars and other bits of awesome.

I'd been wanting to read John Green's newest novel, The Fault in Our Stars, since it came out, but I am still clueless about how the Bellingham library works and I can't exactly afford to buy books. However, the other day I suddenly remembered that my lovely grandmother had given me an Amazon gift card for Christmas, and I immediately ordered the book. (Well, as soon as logging into Amazon, of course.) I started reading it last night when it arrived, and I finished it tonight. I think that I'd forgotten how much I loved reading. College--and writing on my own book quite extensively--had just drained me of energy for reading, but the more I think about the more I realize that's an awful mindset. I will always have to do something, and if I want to just wait for time to do the things that matter then I will never end up doing them.
Anyway. On to the book...
It was absolutely phenomenal. I've always loved John Green's works, but this is, from my opinion, his best. It is profound and funny, but also heartbreaking and real. It's one of those books that you pick up and in fifteen pages you already know it's going to be one of your favorites. So, yeah. You should read it, library or no. (Side note: for the first time ever while reading a novel, since I'm woefully unconnected with pop culture, I understood all of the allusions and felt extremely nerdy and extremely proud at the same time. DFTBA.)

[Insert awkward segue here], and, so, I'm pretty much in awe of what God has been doing in my life lately. I think that that for the majority of my life, I experienced little bursts of spirituality that honestly never really amounted to much other than contented complacency. I wanted to share my faith all the time, become hardcore, and fall completely in love with Jesus, but it never exactly happened.Well, things are different now. I don't know if I can adequately put into words what God has been doing in my heart (or if I'm truly hardcore--what does that even mean, anyway? I don't have abs made of steel), but it's quite terrifying and great. I think one of the most striking things that I've been learning, though, is that you might have your first big "surrender" when you accept Christ and all that, but the surrendering doesn't really stop there. You have to do it all the time because you forget that first time so easily.
I've also broken my little comfort bubble and asked people spiritual questions for Discipleship Class and gone conversational evangelizing. Yes, I'm rather incredulous as well.

God is kind of awesome.